I have a crush on Alfredo Simon and I'm not ashamed to admit it

Never be ashamed of having a crush on Alfredo Simon

Baseball pitcher

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Alfredo Simon is straight. Scroll down and check out his short and medium hairstyles.

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Rated by 50+ man-crushers

Why is Alfredo Simon called "Big Pasta?" Is it just started. -- Willard
Billy Hamilton with a concussion. This team is doomed. Its the Alfredo Simon curse. -- Sam Banta
I really need to look at the pitching matchups before getting tickets. Im seeing Alfredo Simon again on Saturday. 3rd time this season -- Shabazz Fisher
Alfredo Simon at 190.1 innings pitched so far during the 2014 regular season. Still has a shot to get to 200.0+ innings. -- Steven Sharp
I just learned that Alfredo Simon killed a guy, and probably is a rapist. -- Lube Rock
Fuck off Alfredo Simon. Smh. REDS LOSER. Those fools can't score and now is acting hurt. Hahaha. Love it. -- Lord Davis
He is quite big. -- Austin Ward
For an O's fan such as myself, watching Jake Arrieta has been frustrating. Watching Alfredo Simon however is more along the line of WTF??? -- Matt Shaffner

Hi My name is Alfredo Simon, When i lose my shit, i lose it all at once. I am a professional shit. Thank You. -- Bullets
I got irrationally irritated seeing that Alfredo Simon was at the Taveras funeral. Fuck Alfredo Simon. -- Zach Dinger-Lover
If the Tigers had a bullpen like the Royals, Yankees or Cardinals, he is out of the game, but they don't, so Alfredo has to pitch -- Spirit of Detroit
He is a disaster waiting to happen. -- Curtis
Last time I'll EVER have that fat ass Alfredo Simon on my fantasy team. Mother fucker only has 1.8 points. And he is a pitcher. -- a-aron
Alfredo Simon pitching tonight is drip torture -- Adam Ruff
He isn't very good. Sorry, but facts are facts. -- Kun A-grey-ro
Also do you remember when they traded Eugenio Suarez for Alfredo Simon LMAO -- Miguel Cabrera's Bat
He is pretty bad -- James Fegan
Alfredo Simon vs. Chris Sale should be a fun matchup of "How is his ERA that low?" vs. "How is his ERA that high?" -- Luke Lofgren
Good to see that Alfredo Simon's command is regressing 2 months earlier that expected -- Bryan Craves
James McCann is in for a night of hard labor. Alfredo Simon's splitter is not exactly behaving. Conor Gillaspie just pokes 2-0 pitch for HR. -- Lynn G. Henning
Andrew Miller has 23 strikeouts in 13.1 innings. Meanwhile, Alfredo Simon has 20 strikeouts in 31.2 innings. This is how baseball works. -- MLB Humor
Get ready Tonight is an Alfredo Simon. You down with HBP? -- mstreetbot
So it turns out I'm going to the game tonight. I will still occasionally observe that Alfredo Simon killed a guy but others must fill in ok? -- John
Floyd Mayweather beats his wife, Manny Pacquiao is a homophobe, & Alfredo Simon killed a guy. -- VHS

Wish we would have signed Alfredo Simon instead of Homer Bailey.. Simon is a workhorse, Bailey is hot and cold.. Both have no-hit stuff -- Sean Hoy
Alfredo Simon's nickname is "the great pasta"... That's raw -- George Quay
Alfredo Simon nickname is "The Big Pasta". Sports a great place man... -- Richard Σhermhead
John Anderson really just played "Simon Says" on Sportscenter when doing the Tigers Royals highlight b/c Alfredo Simon was pitching LOL -- Ryan Toland
8 of my 10 systems said fade Alfredo Simon tonite but I couldn't do it. He def bounced from here to China. Hope he is all star this yr -- Rick Andrews
Perez doubles allowing Morales to score 5-0 KC. Alfredo Simon's night is done with 1 out bottom of the 5th. Alex Wilson on in relief. -- Tigers Talk 24/7
Now THIS is the Alfredo Simon we traded for -- Matthew Cook
He is throwing a ton of pitches this inning. -- Garrett Elliott
Perez follows with an RBI double to the LF wall, plating Morales. he is done, at least for tonight. up 5-0, bottom 5. -- Josh Vernier
Acquitted murderer and alleged rapist he is not having a good pitching night -- Matt Sussman
He is pitching in an MLB game right now. He killed a guy. -- prairiedogs_lyrics
Anthonyfenech: What is happening to fucking Alfredo Simon right now is what happens when you elevate pitches right down the middle. -- FoulMouthedBeck
What is happening to Alfredo Simon right now is what happens when you elevate pitches right down the middle. -- anthony fenech
I think he is what I had for dinner last night. -- Mick Shaffer
This is the Alfredo Simon that Reds fans saw in the second half of last year. -- Anthony Dinsmore
Pretty sure he is what I ordered the last time I was at Olive Garden. -- Lee West
I hope Alfredo Simon had fun, but it is time for him to come back to Earth. -- Landon Adams
Regression is bound to hit Alfredo Simon soon, and by soon I mean tonight. Roys gonna take him to -- Brad Brickell
He is just gonna get bored one day and he'll start throwing 57mph pitches. -- Brandon H.
He is having a great start to the season. 4-0 1.65 ERA -- Jeremy Pescetti
The Royals will go up against the Detroit Tigers tomorrow. a fun fact about the Tigers is that Alfredo Simon killed a guy -- Kalon
Really really missing Alfredo Simon right now.. -- michael foster
Ictmi: my comment feed summary of the cards game yesterday: Alfredo Simon killed a guy. not sure in which inning he did so. -- pooɥpןıɥɔ
"Hi! he is a murderer! " -Nathan and Evan to every passing Detroit fan at Busch Stadium -- Nathan Haney
He was safe. But no one is safe around Alfredo Simon. -- Kevin Munie
This is gonna be the best night on comment since the LAST time we collectively waged holy war against Alfredo Simon -- Maq