Tom Brady

Tom Brady Turns 47, Gifts Fans a Birthday Thirst Trap That Could Quench the Sahara

Move over, birthday cakes and candles—Tom Brady is redefining how to celebrate turning another year older. The retired football legend decided that for his 47th birthday on Saturday (August 3), he’d give his fans something truly unforgettable: a thirst trap so steamy it could melt the polar ice caps.

Taking to social media with all the confidence of someone who’s won seven Super Bowl rings, Tom shared a new selfie that left little to the imagination. “This will be an annual tradition,” he declared, as if we needed more reasons to look forward to August besides pumpkin spice lattes.

The photo showcases every muscle in his body—muscles most of us didn’t even know existed. It’s like he’s been secretly training not just for football but also for some sort of Greek god competition. If you squint hard enough, you might even see Zeus handing him a trophy in the background.

Fans were quick to react with comments ranging from Is it hot in here or is it just Tom? to I think I pulled a muscle just looking at this. One follower humorously noted, “If this becomes an annual thing, my heart rate monitor app is going to need an upgrade.”

So there you have it: while most people get socks or ties for their birthdays, Tom Brady gives us all tickets aboard the S.S. Steamy Selfie Express. All aboard!

Rated by 50+ man-crushers

• I know Tom Brady from the New England Patriots. He won many Super Bowls. Super. -- Gisele
• I know Tom Brady from the NFL. He whines if anyone sacks him. Not particularly handsome or built. -- Anonymous
• To me, Tom Brady's the league MVP through seven weeks. But Carson Wentz is absolutely giving chase. -- Albert Breer
• Tom Brady will go for his 23rd playoff win tonight. Second on the all time list is Joe Montana. With 16. -- Mike Greenberg
• Had to cut Tom Brady from my fantasy teams.. Never thought I d see the day, but enough is enough. -- Joe Budden
• Peyton Manning isn't close to Tom Brady. Sorry -- DYQN
• Hi tom brady face is. -- Amber Dennis
• Ugh. Back to back comments in my TL. Is Tom Brady past his prime? Is Eli Manning back to being elite? -- Sean Conway
• Today is the 3 year anniversary of the best day of my life. I hope we will cross paths again Tom Brady -- Lucas Churchill
• Hey fuck wads even if Tom Brady IS past his prime he is still TOM FUCKING BRADY. Learn some respect and gratitude you spoiled bitches. -- East Edwards
• Aaron Rodgers has an 84% win percentage against division opponents at home, he is the only other QB that's higher -- Shane Price
• He is gonna light it up on Sunday -- Vo
• Someone somewhere is explaining right now how tom brady is playing poorly in protest of some coaching decisions. dobson, makins, whatever -- Malcolm Jawnkins
• Ben is a good Quarterback but he s just about as overhyped as Tom Brady in being the G.O.A.T. Both good QBs who won with great D s. -- C wick B
• Its Thursday...so all you Tom Brady experts can go play a fun filled game of HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF -- rob lynch
• @ Tom Brady's presser it sounded and looked like he was getting emotional over some of the questions being asked -- Robert Smith
• Interesting question on Mike and Mike which city has the best big four athletes is it Boston? Tom Brady/Bobby Orr/Ted Williams/Bill Russell -- Andy Lemek
• Does anyone still think he is better than Peyton Manning? -- Johnny B
• Everyone is telling me to get rid of Tom Brady as my fantasy but he's still hot and it's my soooooo...Yeah. Not gonna happen. -- Will Warner
• Is Tom Brady done? Do you media folks hear yourselves when you talk? -- Blair Parker
• Benching he is like benching Tim Duncan. -- Parker Jr
• Lol he is going to get back on track when he plays the -- Jay Rock
• It's wrong to not blame Tom Brady for some of the Patriots' problems. The whole team isn't doing well, Tom is no exception. -- ShadowFox
• The hype Tom Brady gets 4not having receivers when he wins vs the # of excuses we make 4him when he loses in the same fashion is disgusting -- Darry Thornton
• Is Tom Brady gonna keep crying until Sunday? -- Todd
• If he is ever benched while on the Patriots, I'll stop being a Patriots fan. -- Gordon Bombay
• The day I wear crocs is the day I enjoy country music, watch a Brodie smith vine and listen to jcole while cleaning Tom Brady's uggs -- yung aids
• Did the patriots really release Tom Brady or is it just a rumor? -- Jimmy Lovine
• Honestly my fantasy football team is really solid but the reason I lost two games is because Tom Brady. -- Jonathan V.
• Is this Tom Brady rumor true or nah? I mean i hate the Patriots but was he really released? -- Lucas Adams
• Tom Brady got dropped from the patriots .. Tomorrow is gonna be a bad day.. -- ♡MoonChiiild☾
• Seriously, cannot unsee. Google images tells... Toki Wartooth wears Uggs...like Tom Brady... -- The Lochstar
• I feel so bad for Tom Brady this year -- Sean Hemenway #18
• This is like TOM BRADY painful for the -- Autumn Alisse
• He is getting old. His time has passed. Russell Wilson is the new King of QB's. -- Mister TwoNotch
• He is not the problem in New England. The supporting cast is. You put crappy fuel in a Ferrari, you'll get a crappy running Ferrari. -- Non-Stop NFL
• He is being treated all sorts of wrong by the media up in NE. They want smoke so they started a fire... -- Leebo
• He is my father -- ⚡aul Lopez
• Tom Brady looks so shook behind that O Line. -- Henry™
• For those wondering why he isn't 'making his WRs better', we talked about it in our Stiff-Arming Football Myths book because.. -- Emory Hunt
• Michael Myers is a straight G -- Melvin ❤️
• He is still my hero -- Noel Deliallisi
• I really do not understand how the Patriots offense is so bad. You have Tom Brady. What offensive players dont want to play with him? -- Willy Wonker
• Bill Belichick is about to trade Tom Brady and Gronk for a fifth rounder and probably draft the future Lawrence Taylor with that pick. -- Dakota's Lawyer
• He is killing me in Fantasy, he's got to pick up the pace -- Chris Moreno
• It's time for Tom Brady to man up and admit he is not as special as he thinks he is. He had a few good years. -- Dave Epperson
• I feel so bad for Tom Brady at least he's still got Giselle and belichick -- Tonto
• If you think he is a better QB than Peyton Manning you automatically get labeled an idiot in my book -- Trenton Foe
• He is bitch made. -- •
• Obviously Gardner is starting, Morris has a concussion and they can't bring Tom Brady back -- Jason Gamble

Throwback Thursday #TBT

TOP